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She’s trying to take my kids

I cannot imagine anything crueler than taking a child away from a parent. It just seems inhumane, and I always thought it would be impossible for such a thing to happen to me. I suppose I never thought about it directly, but I always assumed my life wouldn’t involve those sort of heartbreaking situations. But then, I never imagined I’d end up married to, and now divorced from, a woman like Kathy.

Kathy really seemed like the sweetest woman when I met her, which I find harder to believe than bad fiction now that she’s trying to take my kids from me.

It caught me flatfooted, which I suppose is what she wanted. Here, I was expecting an amicable divorce, or amicable enough, and she’s pursuing sole custody, which I learned recently means I might not be able to see the kids at all.

I understand she’s angry. The affair was a bad decision, and even worse was the way I handled myself when she found out. I could have stood to drink less the last couple years as well. But I was unhappy, just like her, and I never physically hurt her or the kids. I hardly ever yelled at anyone.

It just seems so absolutely unfair of her, and I’m terrified she’s going to get her way. My lawyer seems to think we have a decent shot at joint custody, but decent is pretty weak so far as it goes. The fact I’m responsible for the divorce seems to mean I can’t possibly be a good father.

The truth is, though, I raised those kids more than she did. I was the one who taught them how to ride bikes and how to use the toilet. Yes, Kathy had them during the days, but when I got home, all she did was complain about how tired she was and insist I take them. Ditto for weekends. She just plopped them in front of the TV when they were young and waited for me to get home. I don’t know what they’ll do if I’m not around. Kathy isn’t going to help them with their homework. She’s not going to make them their lunches for school. The fact she’d not only keep me from the kids but keep them from me shows a level of cruelty I really didn’t think she had in her.

 

I just hope it’s a bluff. I hope it’s just a moment of anger and when she calms down she sees there are better ways to harm me that don’t harm the kids as well. She’ll get the house, she’ll get the furniture. She’ll get a portion of my salary probably until the day I die. All I want is time with my kids. I wish I had better than decent odds of getting that.

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